does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
