I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
