I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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