I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
