??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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