sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
