there was a trapeze. enough said
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
