Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just saw a hot homeless man
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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