do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
