Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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