Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
