What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I currently don't understand fingers.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
