im having a threesome with these popsicles
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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