Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
