whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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