So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
its not stalking. its research.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
