The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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