Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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