this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
