they need to just BURY HIM!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Randomize