roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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