end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
