then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
