too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
