They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
