I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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