nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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