I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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