He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
