pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
