just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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