What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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