Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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