1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
