Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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