So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
