Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
