I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize