what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
