you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
