Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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