I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
