ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
