one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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