How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
