Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
