you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Sober January is a disaster.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
