and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
