I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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