He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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