I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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