you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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